Passion Flower

Last night I experienced the most incredible, beautiful, powerful dance performance ever! My friend Ann, who taught the creative movement class Max and I took, performed her powerful new work, Passion Flower. Ann is so amazing. I had never seen her perform, just knew her as a great and inspirational person, mom, friend. Her energy is contagious and I felt drawn to her even before we ever met. Over the past couple of years, I have been a bit disillusioned with dance as a performance. Most of the performances I have seen have lacked a connection...I almost can't put words to it, but they have just been missing something. I kept finding myself questioning why the dancers were performing. Was is just to show their incredible skill? I wanted something more. I wanted passion. I wanted the dance to be representational of something the artist had experienced. I wanted to see something other than the presentation of beautiful bodies in beautiful motion. It's not so much that I want the performance to make a statement, but to be connected to something personal and meaningful and powerful. The intent is so important to me. Ann's performance touched me like no other. I felt her power and pain and love. I just have goosebumps and feel so lucky and privileged that I got to witness this firsthand. It was everything dance and art can be...

A-B-C Tag

I was tagged by the fabulous Jesse. I also just realized that when I cut and pasted the rules from Jesse's blog, I didn't put MY info in some of the blanks...sorry Jesse! I just updated it all!

A - Available?: for talking...ANYTIME!
B-Best friend: John; But I do have a couple of very cool women who are very important to me
C-Cake or Pie?: I'm funny about my cakes. No ordinary cake will do. My favorite is the 4 layer dense chocolate cake with whipped cream and a hard chocolate layer in between that my mom always made for our birthdays.
D-Drink of choice: no question...COFFEE
E-Essential thing used everyday: coffee maker
F-Favorite color: red
G-Gummi bears or worms: bears
H-Hometown: born in Normal, IL but raised in San Antonio, TX; Colorado Springs, CO; and Augusta, GA.
I-Indulgence: chocolate...dark and thin
J-January or February: February...I Love Valentine's Day
K-Kids and names: Alex(aka Marvin); Sophie (aka Sophie-one-canobi), Max (aka Maxadoo), Ella(aka Ella-Bella)
L-Life: Too short to waste on NOT Having as Much Fun as Possible
M-Marriage date: March 21, 1992
N-Number of siblings: 4- 2 sisters, 2 brothers(identical twins)
O-Oranges or apples: pink ladies and Cripps Pink
P-Phobias: small closed in spaces that I cannot easily get out of
Q-Quote: Too many to pick a favorite, but I have always loved..."H.I., don't you come back here without a toddler" and "And this here's the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things" both from Raising Arizona
R-Reason to smile: dancing and watching others dance
S-Season: Fall
T-Tag three people:Jessica, Dayna, Kelli
U-Unknown fact about me: I was so shy as a kid, I would cry when the teacher called on me, even though I knew the answer
V-Vegetable you don't like: I only don't like the way some vegetables are prepared, but I cannot think of any I don't like
W-Worst Habit: not being patient
X-Xrays you have had: knee, hip, ankle
Y-Your favorite food: oh my god, I don't think there is one favorite thing I like to eat. I love good cheese, fois gras pate, soup, salads, chocolate, home made baked goods like maple scones, etc. Yeah, way too much good stuff out there to pick just one!
Z-Zodiac: I'm on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer, but have been told I resemble a Gemini more

High winds, big rains, sunny days

We had some huge storms move through here this week. The wind was incredible and the rain just kept coming! The fabulous fort withstood it all....right up to the very end. I could not believe it was still standing. Then it fell down. So, it's back to work to recreate it and have it ready for the now very warm and sunny days. Oh wait...it's going to get cold again. Bugger! That's okay. I like the cold lasting a bit longer. It means more time before the sweltering heat moves in.

Small Moments

Early on in my unschooling journey, I came across various accounts of other unschooler's lives that left me feeling like a failure, not only as an unschooler, but as a parent. Our lives looked NOTHING like what I was reading about, and it scared me. I started doubting myself and asking, "Should I be making the kids get more involved, do more things, have more concise and presentable passions that could be shown off as worthy endeavors? Are my kids not motivated enough to be good unschoolers? What can I do to make sure we have these big show-offy things as proof that unschooling works?" Over the years I have learned to just not read those things that feel like a report card, with gold stars and hints of outdoing one another, being bigger or better. I learned to trust we were living our life the only way that was authentic and meaningful to us. As a result, I don't want my portrayal of our life to be a list of achievements that would appear to earn us gold stars. I don't want anyone reading about our life to think the requisite list of fabulous activities, projects, etc. is what the majority of our life is truly about. It is not these accountable tasks that make this life, our life, so incredible. For the most part, our life is filled with small moments of living with each other, sharing a household amongst 6 people, asking questions, getting answers, having conversations, watching tv, playing video games, hanging out, cooking food, cleaning up, celebrating events, going shopping, getting haircuts, saying "I love you", asking forgiveness, giving apologies, driving to fun stuff, making plans, budgeting money, traveling, raising pets, discussing issues, talking about sex, talking about love, talking about our passions, dreaming of the future, work, reading, decorating, playing, trying to find ways to have everyone honored and getting what they want as much as humanly possible. These small moments are not as easy to write about. These small moments don't prove that unschooling will lead to fabulous endeavors the way big projects prove it. These small moments don't look like proof that ultimately unschoolers will get to all which is deemed worthy. These small moments will not earn us any gold stars, but they are what our life looks like. They are what make us so incredibly happy. The projects and big stuff are fun too, but they are a just a small token of the big picture.

Forts

When I was growing up, our greatest quest was to build the ultimate fort. We spent hours and hours exploring, building, searching, starting over, etc. We lived in Colorado, so we spent the winter time trying to build an igloo-type fort, and the summer time tyring to build a regular fort. We never had use of any materials besides what we found in our woods. This proved rather challenging as the pine straw we used for our roof never really held for long. We never achieved that ultimate fort, but sure had a lot of fun trying.



My kids are now in this fort-building stage. They want something that is just theirs. Something they created, that is not part of the house. They started with a bunch of old chairs, blankets, sheets, rubber bands, etc. and had it all set up in the garage/basement. This lasted until we needed the various blankets for guests. They were craving something more permanent. Sophie got a HUGE tarp for Valentine's Day with the intent that it would be the perfect start to their own fort. With a little help from The Daring Book For Girls and A Kids' Guide to Building Forts, they were on their way.



Alex and Sophie with Tools of the Trade

I held back once again from trying to make sure they did everything perfect. This has been my m.o., and I'm trying desperately to change. I did fairly well and just gave my opinion as to what structure I thought would work best, as well as a list of materials and supplies they might want to gather before heading out to their chosen spot in the woods. They wanted me to check out their progress, but I decided to wait until they were completely happy with what the had created before I took a look-see.

Alex and Ella in Fort
Sophie, Ella and Rosie in Fort


They did an amazing job. I am so glad I didn't stick my nose in. This is the fort I always dreamed of as a kid...and they did it, by themselves. I hope this fort brings them many days of joy and autonomy, togetherness and satisfaction.

Sophie in the Lookout Tower
Ella in the Lookout Tower

Blogging Rut and Madeline's Tag

I have been in a serious blogging rut. Several big things have happened in our lives, but none which I can truly write about in a public forum. I don't know what to do with that...so I haven't written because writing about anything other than these things feels trivial in comparison. Sigh.

Madeline tagged me so I am coming out of rut-dome to write some things about a friend. What friend? I am really perplexed. I hold myself very close and don't always let people in to my inner sanctum. I have many friends, but very few who I love, trust, and to whom I feel really close.

The rules:(1) Link to the person that tagged you.(2) Post the rules on your blog.(3) Share six things you love about a friend, doesn’t have to be the same friend who wrote about you, really!(4) Tag other random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.


John: Because he is my one true love, and my very best friend
1. I love that John laughs at my jokes.
2. I love that John tries to give me everything.
3. I love John's passion for good food.
4. I love that John lives his truth and is not afraid to be who he really is, all the time.
5. I love that John doesn't let me get too self-absorbed.
6. I love that John will listen to me ad-nauseum when I need to talk...and I need to talk A LOT!


I'm going to tag Gail and Jesse and Gillen.

Computer Trouble and Rich Lives

We have been having some computer issues, so I have not felt like blogging. It is a real hassle...the cursor randomly stops responding and shoots up to the upper right corner of the screen, the screen simply blacks out, etc. So frustrating! Other than that, our lives have been fabulously rich lately.

John just received a promotion at work. This will definitley change the flow of our lives, but will set us up in a more secure financial position. It will also allow us to realize some of the aspirations on our vision/passion board.

The kids have started the "out-and-about" cycle...but I'm finding it easier than in the past. Alex, Sophie, and Max have been taking a "Potions and Concoctions" class through the Creative Discovery Museum. They absolutely love it. While they are there, Ella and I go across the street to see a movie...a regular, not $1 movie...pretty exciting stuff. We saw Hannah Montana last week. Max has also started a gymnastics class. He loves it and is thriving in that environment. In addition, we found out last week that one of his friends from class is not only a homeschooler, but we share a mutual friend in Madeline! How cool is that? They're coming over to hang out next week. Max can't wait. Sophie and Ella are taking a cheerleading class at the rec center, and Alex continues attending meetings for the Teen Advisory Board at the library. His task this month is advertising, so he's coming up with all the places he wants to hang flyers. Alex has also discovered his love of cookbooks. He has been taking them to bed and deciding what recipes he wants to try. He made a delicious honey orange chicken the other night, and can't wait to try more.

I have just been going along for the ride. I love seeing the sparks fly when the kids are actively pursuing their passions. Even though it seems like we are doing more than humanly possible, we actually still have inordinate amounts of down time at home. This time is filled with lots of bionicles, gamecube, xbox, DS-ing nintendogs and animal crossing, movies, favorite tv shows, and trying to train the dogs with the new invisible fence.

I have been working on my own stuff as well, but will save that for a future blog!