Boys Falling From Tees

Sometimes as whole-life unschooling parents, we tread a fine line between giving the kids freedom to explore and making sure they are safe. There is no better example of this than yesterday. We went to the swimming hole and sliding rocks at Pooles Mill Bridge Park. We love this place and the kids had a blast last time we went. As a group of us parents were hanging out and chatting, Max fell out of a tree onto big rocks below. It happened right before my eyes. I saw his face as the branch he was on broke and he unexpectedly fell from what I consider a scary height. His sweet little face showed surprise and fear. My heart went out to him and I was silently hoping with all of my being that he was okay. After he landed, I yelled out, "Oh My God. Max just fell from that tree!" He moved a bit, but immediately began crying. He was hurt and scared and it was hard to comfort him. Later, he told me his thoughts. He told me he was really scared that he had done something that would have changed his life forever. When he fell, he was scared he was going to die. It broke my heart.

So rewind a bit. Max has always been a climber. He has always had a very keen sense of his body and an amazing sense of balance. I have always, since he was very little, "briefed" him about different aspects of climbing. Instead of just telling him "no", and not letting him climb, we always talked about how high he was, if he felt safe, was the branch strong enough to hold him, and if he fell, what was below him. We had these talks all the time when he was little, because he was always climbing. He has never fallen, nor has he ever been stuck somewhere he couldn't get down from.

We haven't done many of those talks lately, the past few years even, because he has become very adept at knowing his limits, and never really pushing past what he is comfortable doing. I think I grew complacent and trusted he could make these decisions without guidance anymore. I think Max forgot to ask himself these questions. As we spent some time going over his fall, we talked about these things again, and how to ascertain what would be safe conditions to climb, etc. Max said he never wanted to climb a tree again. I hope he changes his mind, and trusts himself again. I do know that I'm glad I walked the line and Max has always had the freedom to climb. He will come to his own conclusions about climbing trees, and he will have lots of experience, support, information, and love from which to base his decisions. Though I trust him implicitly and he will continue to have freedom to make choices, I will be more present in my guidance and will go back to my "safety briefings".