Done?

Sparked by Madeline's graditude post day 2, I wanted to write about my graditude for this amazingly enlightened path we're on. Thankfully, the path has been forged by others. I am but a grateful follower. It's incredible how I continue to grow and learn and make huge leaps toward happiness, joy, and deep loving relationships with my kids. That's what it's all about after all...isn't it?

Max, my dear one, is incredibly sensitive. He feels things so intensely. When he was about 4-5 years old, he was very unsettled regarding death. He felt so strongly and was so sad that one day I would die. He did not want me to die before he did.

Max is also keenly aware of justice or injustice. He becomes deeply committed to an idea of how things should be...even when reality and facts are contrary to his belief. These are the times that are trying for me. Despite knowing it won't help, in times of stress I continue to try to reason with him and get him to understand how his thinking is incorrect.

This past week I did just what I don't want to do. As I was trying to explain and rationalize something to Max that he and Sophie were having a disagreement about, I continued to grow more and more frustrated. He just grew more and more angry. I finally had to leave it alone and walk away. After we both had some time to calm down, I apologized to him. I used the Five Languages of Apology to let him know how sorry I was and I was able to communicate my love for him. I would, however, have preferred NOT to have gotten into the predicament in the first place.

So, moving forward . ..We had several friends over here playing. The kids all generally get along and have fun together. In the basement, Max had his "Petopia" house still intact. One of the kids, aged 4, crashed into his Petopia house while on the scooter. Max told him it was okay, but to not scooter around it anymore. The child then scootered right into it again and destroyed it, saying, "It was just a stupid house anyway".

Max was beside himself. He came to me very upset. Instead of falling back on my previous behavior of trying to make Max not so upset, I listened and tried so hard to validate and hear him and just be there for him. I asked him what he needed. He told me. I did it. It was incredible how much stronger our relationship felt after this interchange than after the last. Even though he was still angry and upset about his house being destroyed, he was able to move past it because I wasn't trying to get him over it. I wasn't trying to rationalize anything to him.

Keep moving forward...my new motto from "Meet the Robinsons". I will never be done growing and learning on this path I've choosen. Is there ever a "done"? What happens when we become stagnant and unwilling to question or analyze our thoughts and actions? I hope I never find out. I'm eternally grateful to be a life learner.